Scamming the Scammers #7: Not scammers?

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I didn’t reply to the email below, this was the final correspondence I had with the ‘scammers’. I didn’t figure out for sure if they were scammers or employees working for Amazon KDP, however, the email below seems to be fairly conclusive. I’ll leave it up to all of you to decide. In any case, if it is actually Amazon, perhaps this will serve as a lesson to them to not spam customers with mass emails if they not entirely sure as to whether or not they will be relevant. In this instance, they were not. I have never published anything with Amazon Kindle, and while I do have an account, I have never used it.

This was fun and I hope you all gained some enjoyment from it, as well as, the previous emails I have received from actual scam artists. We may return to this series in the future if I do receive any spam email that manages to infiltrate my email. However, just like ‘Grappler’s Choice’, this series will be on indefinite hiatus.

I am not sure what is next for this blog, or if anyone actually reads it all (do people even read blogs anymore?) but I will continue to post entries here and there if anything interesting in my life is worth writing about.

Thanks for reading

– Christian Reeve


Hello Tyrian,

I appreciate you getting back to us.

You are speaking with Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP). A division of Amazon. We provide a platform for authors and publishers alike, to make their work accessible to the world.

In most cases, our members contact us from their account or from an email address associated with their account. If they do either of the two, we can then see exactly what is going on and whether or not they have books published. Now, because you have contacted us from an unknown source, our systems cannot verify who you and therefore, renders no results hence the reason for us asking you to provide us with your account information.

Furthermore, the email you received about Singapore tax withholding information was a mass email which we sent to all who possess an account with Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP). This email was to let you know that “IF” you are considering publishing a book and making it available within our Amazon Indian Marketplace, that you will incur a 10% withholding rate on any royalties you make for books sold there.

I assure you that we are who we say we are Tyrian.

If you have any further questions, let us know.

I wish you a good day further.

………………………………………………………
Did I solve your problem?

If yes, please click here:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/help/survey?p=A3MWV7357RALQG&k=hy

If no, please click here:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/help/survey?p=A3MWV7357RALQG&k=hn


 

Scamming the Scammers #6: The Big Reveal!

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Ok, so I’m quite confused as to what these people actually want. I decided to just keep making this as ridiculous as possible. This time, we’ve exposed the truth to the scammers, hoping that they might do the same….


Scammers:

Hello Tyrian,

Greetings from Kindle Direct Publishing. This is Azara – a Senior Support Specialist here at KDP.

In your email you state that this (christianreeve93@gmail.com) is the account where your title has been published and where royalties are being accrued. However, when searching our systems, I was not able to locate any account under this email address.

I then also searched our systems by your name Tyrian Williamson, which rendered no results as well. For this reason, we have been requesting that you resend your inquiry from the email address associated with your KDP account.

For us to better assist you, are you able to provide an ASIN for your title? Or any other information that could help us locate your account?

I’m so sorry for the trouble this has caused and sincerely appreciate your time and assistance in this matter.

Regards,

Azara A.
Kindle Direct Publishing
http://kdp.amazon.com


My Response:

To Azara, Shiv, Ganesh M, Azar A, Athens R, Chunky and Waseem.

It would seem at this point that I could send you anything and you would
only read and respond to 5% of it.
Alas,tis true. Tyrian is my writing name. The account you seek 
does exist, though I have not published anything under it.
Yes, I am exposing myself. But since we’re getting everything out in the open,
why don’t you tell me who you really are? Because I know for a fact that I am not corresponding with Amazon, for they would know that I have not published anything, and would have my records and be able to successfully locate my email.
Additionally, they would know that I did not express any interest in ‘making my content available’ in Singapore.
So, who are you guys then?
Regards,
Big T

Scamming the Scammers #5: Tyrian gets serious!


Hello,

To help us protect your account security, please resend your request from the email address associated with your KDP account.

If someone else published your book for you, you can ask them to contact us from the email address they used to publish your book.

Thanks for using Amazon KDP.

Regards,

Shiv
Kindle Direct Publishing
http://kdp.amazon.com


Perhaps I went too far with this email, then again, we are conversing with scam artists.


To Shiv, Ganesh M, Azar A, Athens R, Chunky and Waseem

I have already re-sent it from THIS ACCOUNT, due to the fact that
THIS ACCOUNT is associated with the KDP account.
 
I PUBLISHED  the book and NOBODY ELSE DID.
 
I have made things as clear as I possibly can, please re-read this email and my other
emails to you. I would like my royalties, plus interest and compensation, please.
Regards,
Tyrian Williamson

Scamming the Scammers #4: The KDP Crew is growing!

Ok so I’m currently conversing with a wizard called Azar, or maybe it’s Azlan’s cousin from ”The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe”, it’s hard to tell.

I cannot decide whether or not I’m making myself abundantly clear in my emails, I mean, I’ve stated that I have the same email address for my KDP account, so when am I gonna get my royalties from Singapore.


**Same email address as before**

Hello  Tyrian,

I understand that you are concerned about the accrued royalties in your account.

To help us protect your account security and to check the royalties pending in your account, please resend your request from the email address associated with your KDP account.

Unless you write to us from the email address associated with the KDP account, we cannot check the royalties in your account. If you forgot the email address associated with your KDP account write back to us with the ASIN of your book. So that we will be able to find your account and email to the correct account.

If someone else published your book for you, you can ask them to contact us from the email address they used to publish your book.

Thanks for using Amazon KDP.

Regards,

Azar A
Kindle Direct Publishing
http://kdp.amazon.com


My response:

To Azar A,

Ok firstly, I’m struggling to keep track of everyone I’m in correspondence with.
I’d like to hear back from Athens R, Chunky and Waseem.
Secondly, I can confirm for the 3rd/4th time now that this email address I am
conversing with you on right now, is definitely the email address associated with
the account. How else would you have contacted me otherwise?,  I would not
have connected a random email address with my account.
Please send me the royalties that I am owed, this is really unacceptable customer service.
I have never received such awful customer service in all my time. I am a co-creator after all!
I produce content for you which is highly popular in the Singapore market!
Send me what is owed to me.
Regards
Tyrian Williamson

I received this response this morning (30/03/2017)


Hello,

I’m very sorry for any frustration this issue has caused.

I would love to help you and resolve the issue but for that we have to gather the required additional information to provide an accurate and expedient resolution.

Please reply to this message with your phone number and a convenient time (next 2 days) that you want us to call you, so we’ll be able to call you discuss this issue further and help you.

Thanks for your patience and co-operation while we fix the issue for you.

………………………………………………………
Did I solve your problem?

If yes, please click here:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/help/survey?p=A1HMDM85WA792&k=hy

If no, please click here:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/help/survey?p=A1HMDM85WA792&k=hn
………………………………………………………

Regards,

Ganesh. M
Kindle Direct Publishing
http://kdp.amazon.com


To which I replied:


**Since the person I speak to changes with every email, I shall address this email to all of you**

To Ganesh M, Azar A, Athens R, Chunky and Waseem.
This is ridiculous, but fine, here is my contact number: 0300 123 2040.
You can contact me today at anytime, I will be awaiting your call.
No, you have not solved my issue, therefore I will not be filling out any surveys at this time.
Only when you have successfully sent me my royalty payments, then I will fill out one
of your surveys,
Regards,
Tyrian Williamson

Google the number 😉

Scamming The Scammers!

So today I discovered a British man named ‘James Veitch’ who writes hilarious email responses to spammers on his account. I stumbled across it, liked his videos and decided to subscribe to a Youtube channel that he was featured on. If you’re not familiar with him, I highly recommend checking out his playlist ‘Scamalot’ on ‘Mashable’s Youtube page (You can find it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZlYFlyDNkI&index=1&list=PLSKUhDnoJjYmeW6nNasZSaVAGh4u91pEk)

In a strange turn of events, I received my first ever spam email through my Gmail account today. This has never happened before, and my spam filter is usually excellent at filtering out all these emails, so I am essentially unaware of the spam emails I receive.

The email was from a lady named ‘ Flora D. Darpino’ and it read as follows:


Hello Dear.
I feel great to hear from you again, my name is Flora D. Darpino, am 43 years old but single, i am a USA Military / NATO, from United State Of America, but i am presently in Yemen for fighting with terrorist and peace keeping in the world. Sincerely, i want to establish a true relationship that may lead into good things in life or something else with you, is my pleasure meeting you. I hope all is well with you and how are you enjoying your day,

Well, i am a USA Military Officer currently in Yemen now, fighting with terrorist and peace keeping, i will like to get acquainted with you. I am loving, honest and caring person with a good sense of humor. I enjoy reading, working, traveling, meeting new people and knowing their way of life. I enjoy watching the sea waves and the beauty of the mountains, and everything that nature has to offer. Please, 
tell me about you, your likes and dislike, i am still single at the age of 43 years, it is very nice to know and be your friend, wishing you all the best, thank you as i still wait to read from you.

Yours,
Flora D. Darpino

I thought it was a little weird to be receiving this and I did a quick google search on the name and found this website among several others: http://www.romancescam.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=93525 detailing various instances of this scam, so I thought I would take James Veitch’s advice and respond to the scammer.

Here’s my first response:

”Hello dearest,

It is great to hear from you too, I was beginning to think you would never reply!. My name is Christian. I am 18 years old, and also single!. I’m a student from the United Kingdom. All is absolutely magnifico with me!. My day has been positively spiffing 🙂
Well, where can I start!. I love cute animals, muscle cars, charity events, helping the elderly and chess.
I dislike very few things, but if I had to pick a few it would be: immigration, health tourism, and potholes.
Cannot wait to hear your response,
Yours faithfully,
Mr Reeve”

Let the games begin!
– Christian Reeve